It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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