If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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