just tell him i said nine months
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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