He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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