I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
