There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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