She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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