I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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