I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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