So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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