I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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