Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
