me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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