Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
