oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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