My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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