Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dignity is for republicans.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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