Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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