my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
