the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
