So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
