So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We left the knife in your bed.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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