I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i was born a porn star she said
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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