she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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