You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
