You smell like a Billy Joel song
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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