Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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