Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
