Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
