Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
