Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
