I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Randomize
