I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Randomize
