Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
