What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
