i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
