This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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