Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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