Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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