then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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