i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
this just has baby written all over it
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
