I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
