Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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