Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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