I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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