And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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