what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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