so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize