he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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