Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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