i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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