Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize