the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
