Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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