we're blogging at a bar
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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