We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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