My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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