if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
