i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
