So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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