just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
