bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
