i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just high enough for therapy.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
