I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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