I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
