you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
